Being Frank
by samanddianefan10
Summary: A look at what made Frank the person that everyone in the 4077 saw. He never could figure out why no one loved him. All of that changed the day he met her.


Frank couldn't believe it. He'd been passed over for promotion, yet again. For once in his life he'd actually believed that he could have actually accomplish one of his dreams, that someone would pick him first for once. It was always the same old story- last to be picked for the baseball team at school, losing out to all the girls. Not getting to go to any of his dances. The one time he had a date, his mother made him cancel out on her. It wouldn't be proper for him, she'd said. He'd only wind up with his heartbroken. The funny thing was, he hadn't thought of getting his heart broken until his mother brought it up. He'd tried so hard to win the affections of the girl, and he lost the only thing that had given him hope during his high school years.

He would have done anything to escape his home life. His brother was his father's pride and joy, and he could do no wrong. But whatever Frank did to try to capture his father's attentions backfired. Once, when he was ten, he mowed the lawn all by himself. He'd been so proud of himself- it took a long time to work that rusty machine into doing what he wanted it to. He went and told his father, who simply replied "So? You think you're big stuff? You want a metal for doing something real men do every day? You think you're Mr. important, but look at you. Next time I want a job done, and done right, I'll ask your brother."

He'd never forgotten how devastated he was by his father's lack of enthusiasm. Frank wasn't exactly the smartest tool in the shed- it had never occurred to him that much of what he'd endured could qualify as abuse. The punch in the mouth, the slap across the face, the beatings with the belt. He'd figured he'd deserved it for being such a bad boy. One time he told his dad that his mother had been drinking at home. When his mother found out, she immediately went into his room, took his pet dog, and sold it. That dog had been his only friend, so he learned quickly that he'd better not trust anyone or anything else again.

One time, when he was fifteen, he took his father's car without permission. He wanted to see what it was like to drive, to be able to get a job and be a real man. Of course, he'd promptly wrecked it, causing $200 dollars worth of damage. Once his father found out, it was the end for him. His father twisted his arm behind his back so severely that Frank had thought it broken. Of course, no one would take him for treatment, so he made do with some bandages and sticks and made himself a brace of some sort. It was then and there he'd decided to become a doctor. He'd show them who was important.

He tried to read books, but they weren't really for him. The words seemed kind of jumbled and nothing seemed to make sense. Whenever he was asked to read out loud in class, he would be met with rude comments and laughter. One day he'd told his teacher that he wanted to become a doctor, and she just snickered crudely in his face. What would it take to have one person believe in him?

He couldn't have friends over, for fear that they might hear what his parents would say to him. The last thing he wanted was for the school to find out that his own family shared their beliefs. And it never occurred to him to go to someone else's house. Not only was he not invited, he just assumed all families were like his. Who needed people, anyways?

Finally his day came. He'd been accepted into college, although even he didn't understand why. His parents refused to help him pay for it, the way they had their oldest son. Why waste all that money on someone who would never make it past the first semester?

But Frank prevailed. He worked two, three jobs just to pay the bills. They weren't much- he wound up a janitor at the very same elementary school that he'd attended, but they got him through school. Of course, it was hard for him. He almost passed out the first time he actually had to deal with blood. His teacher, instead of laughing, took him aside and told him that it would be okay. He knew that Frank could do it, so with a little bit of encouragement, Frank persisted, and somehow made it through medical school. He finished last in his class, but he did graduate. Wouldn't his parents be proud?

They sent not as much as a card or a letter. It was as if Frank's hard work was destined to be overlooked by his parents. Whenever his roommate commented this his family seemed weird, Frank would defend them. He just wanted to be normal, and didn't want anyone to know of his dirty little secrets. He would die defending their honor, even though his parents had completely written him off.

He did meet a girl that he would wind up marrying. He couldn't believe that she'd actually went on a date with him, let alone agree to marry him. But theirs was a comfortable marriage. She had money- she could provide him with the image that he'd always yearned for. Yes, he was finally happy.

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Then the army called. He was actually looking forward to it. One of the things that Frank had found in his short stint as a janitor was that he thrived under structure. This would be hard, but he was a doctor! Certainly there was room for him in the good old United States Army. Compared to what he'd been through, war certainly was something that he could handle.

But it wasn't quite the way Frank had pictured it to be. He didn't make any friends. People continued to laugh at him, though he'd long learned to tune out in his own way. Whenever he would offer his opinion, his superiors just ignored him. Still, he would keep on trying.

Pretty soon he got used to the routine that the army provided. Early to bed, early to rise. He spent all his time alone, for no one wanted to bother to know the creep that was Frank Burns.

All of that changed one day when the most beautiful blonde he'd ever seen dared to sit beside him in the mess hall. He didn't even bother looking at her. Dealing with members of the opposite sex had always confused him. He just assumed that she was lost. She would leave soon enough. They always did.

To his surprise, she didn't leave. She struck up a conversation with him about the army, and he found that he actually shared the same goals with someone. She didn't laugh when he told her he would be colonel. Instead, she grew enthusiastic and actually gave him a compliment. She told him it would be an honor to serve under him. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him.

Pretty soon they began to eat dinner together every day. She was the most interesting woman he'd ever met! She laughed at his jokes, didn't rush him when he tried to speak, and most of all, she didn't make him look the fool that everyone else had.

One day she actually invited him to her tent, and he gladly accepted. He'd never learned the importance of companionship until that day. She presented him with a book of poems, which surprised him.

"What do you want me to do with this?"

"I want you to read it to me, Frank. There is nothing more exciting than a man who reads poetry to a woman."

He flipped through it, and started to panic. His secret of not being much of a reader was about to be revealed, and yet another relationship would end.

So he started to read, and it didn't take Margaret long enough to figure out what was going on. "Frank, how on earth did you make it through medical school if you can't read?"

"It was easy. I just paid close attention to class and could kind of guess the rest."

He waited for the laughter. There was always laughter. Instead, Margaret shocked him by taking his hand.

"Read it to me," she ordered.

He looked at her, but with her nodding her along, he managed to read one of the poems, and he couldn't believe it. She wasn't laughing! Instead, she seemed almost impressed!

"There's nothing wrong with you. You just need a little practice. Why…" she began to look through her belongings until she pulled out a Bible. "You've read this before, haven't you?"

"Of course! Who hasn't?"

"Well then, we'll read this together. It will be exciting, Frank. Just you and me…then who knows? Maybe we can turn it into a regular course. Imagine, soldiers coming to you for the answers. This could be just the fresh start you need! There is nothing wrong with you that a little spit and polish couldn't fix."

That was the moment Frank realized that he loved her.

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And then she was gone. She was marrying another man, leaving him all alone in the world again. When he was with her, he didn't care so much about other people. Let Hawkeye and his friends make their cracks- Margaret believed in him. But once again, he'd lost out on the one thing that ever mattered to him. First the army betrayed him by handing over his promotion, now Margaret. He'd never felt like this with his wife. She didn't understand him, not the way Margaret had. Together it had once been them against the world. Now he was all alone, stuck in a hell hole of a war, surrounded by idiots. It truly was the end of his world.

No more secret glances, no more private jokes. No more passion. The only things that had ever given his life any meaning were now just memories, memories he couldn't share with anyone. She was gone. She'd finally realized what his family had known all along- that he was a nobody.

"Goodbye, Margaret," he whispered, knowing that the best thing to ever happen to him had disappeared. He should have known better than to believe in something, to believe in another person. All he had was himself- even he didn't like himself that much. But as he watched her helicopter fly away, he knew that he would never love another person again. Yes, he loved his kids, but they didn't like him much. And there was his wife- she was all right, but she was no Margaret.

So he went for a walk, finding a place he could be alone. He knew that he'd never find the peace he so desperately needed as long as Hawkeye and B.J. were around. So he fell to the ground, sobbing as he hit the dirt, and all of the ugly feelings that had been bottled up for so long began to come out. No one loved him anymore. His parents hadn't loved him. His brother had called him Ferret Face, a nickname that would come back to haunt him. Everyone in the army hated him. As long as he had had Margaret, he could withstand the taunts that came his way. But now he was all alone, and he was a failure. Maybe his parents were right about him all along. It all became too much for Frank. Something snapped and suddenly nothing made sense. He'd made it through medical school- but jokes were always being made about his skills. He'd been loved once, but now that love was gone. All he had was himself, and the thought scared him more than anything ever had in his life.

He knew what he had to do. He had to find Margaret. He had to make her love him again. If they could talk just once more, then maybe she wouldn't be so quick to give up on him. So he found himself wandering town to town, tracking down every attractive blonde that he could find, praying that it would be her.

What hadn't occurred to Frank was that it was too late for Margaret. It was too late to chase his dreams. If he were of sound mind he might be able to process that breakups were a normal occurrence in life. But he was no longer of sound mind- something had snapped so deeply in him that nothing made sense to him anymore.

All he knew was that he wanted to be loved again. And that wasn't too much to ask, was it? Apparently it was, that was, if your name was Frank Burns. Frank Burns. The man who once had it all, but lost it; and along with losing her he'd lost his mind. Life wasn't fair. He should have known better. He really should have.

The end


End file.
